Posts Tagged ‘dating advice’

Dating Advice For Women – Why Should He Love You?

One of the number one dating advice questions that women ask (or relationship advice, however you want to look at it) is this: How do I get my man to fall in love with me?  SO many women ask this question, and yet, the question itself is all wrong.  You cannot make a man fall in love with you, become your boyfriend or husband (well, unless you blackmail him!).

The real question should be “WHY should he fall in love with me?”.

Many women, when looking for a prospective mate, have a laundry list of things that he should or should not have.  They of course want him to be funny, strong, tall, handsome, rich, no spitting, smoking, chewing and loves his mama.  But not more than her!

That’s a lot for a guy to live up to – ya know?  But what do YOU have to offer him in return?  Why should he choose YOU?  Well, let’s talk about some attributes that men really like in women.  In other words – this is HIS laundry list, what can YOU give him in return?

First of all, let’s talk about character.  No one wants to be with someone who lacks character, integrity and personality.  Some of the qualities tat men are looking for are as follows:

1 – Honesty, in BOTH words and actions.  One of a man’s greatest pet peeves is a woman who tersely replies, “Nothing.” When he asks what is wrong.  Be honest in both your feelings and your wants and needs.

2- Kindness – men equate kindness with love.  Despite the women’s lib movement J men still want women to be kind and generous, things like being rude to your waitress or sales clerk are a total turn-off to a man.

3- Be mature and in control of yourself.  Men do not like women who have temper tantrums.  Do not be moody, needy or pouty.

4- Spontaneity – men love spontaneous and fun women.  Be open to new adventure and fun and never forget your sense of humor.  This is something that Christian Carter hits on in Catch Him and Keep Him eBook, it is one of the biggest things that can keep the spark in your relationship for the whole lifetime of the relationship.

This list, of course, can go on for miles, but keep in mind the nature of these traits – they are all basically centered around truth, kindness and basically a love of self.  These are foundations stones of strong character.  You have to love yourself and allow yourself to experience these things without reserve.

Another thing that men love is a woman’s ability to enjoy the things HE likes.  Wouldn’t you just EAT IT UP if a man you were dating became interested in your pottery class or your love of reading?  Imagine if you could do the same for him.  By being open and ready for HIS likes, I am betting that he will be more open and ready to experience YOUR favorite things as well.

One thing that kind of goes hand in hand with this is the ability to have a HOBBY and have some fun without him.  DO NOT base your happiness on his.  Let him know that you have a life outside of him and that you do not NEED him to be happy and content.  This shows confidence and maturity and is the exact opposite of needy behavior.  Needy behavior, according to Christian Carter, is the death knell of a relationship – it is men’s biggest turnoff.

A fourth thing men love – self-reliance.  Are you able to manage your own household?  Can you change a tire?  Run your own grill, computer, finances, etc?  You won’t have to do these things for yourself forever if you find a mate, but men love it when a woman CAN.

Lastly, take care of yourself.  You do not have to be a model to attract a man.  But YOU know what your best attributes are, use them!  Take care of yourself, keep clean, healthy, and stay interested in the temple that is your body.  It’s the only one you will ever have!

If you want more dating advice for women, check out Christian Carter’s eBook, Catch Him and Keep Him.  It is full of advice on the many facets of finding a good man and being able to keep him.  Dating and relationships can be tricky, and finding good relationship advice can be even harder.  Don’t miss your chance to get on top of the game now!

Get What YOU Want Out of Your Relationship

One of the most common relationship questions that women have is “How do I tell where my relationship is going?  How do I know if he feels the same things I do and wants the same things?”  It’s a horrible place to be in – that limbo between a real relationship and just “dating”, isn’t it?  Well, let’s talk about what to do to get you OUT of that limbo and into a solid and mature relationship.

In a relationship, new or old, the best position to be in is one where your man is clearly ATTRACTED to you – where he wants to be with you, spend time with you and really participate in the relationship.  I know, you are thinking, “Tell me something I don’t know!”

Do you know how to tell the difference between physical attraction and a true, genuine CONNECTION?  Many women mistake the physical attraction a man feels for them as a signal that a man wants to really be in a relationship.  That’s a dangerous mistake to make, but all too common.

Here’s the thing – for men – he can share attraction with you, be intimate and caring and really seeming like he is connecting with you, but unless he feels that attraction on a DEEPER LEVEL than physically, it will fade away, and you are left in that horrible limbo.

What can a woman DO to create that kind of attraction on a deeper level?  First, you have to get your man out of his man-bred logical thinking.  You have to reach him in a place inside him that goes way beyond that – which may be something he has never experienced before you.   YOU may have never experienced it either – if you have never had a good, lasting relationship, I’m betting you never have.

Most women who are unsure of their relationship status and don’t know where things are will be asking themselves several different questions.  1) Why isn’t he interested in talking and moving our relationship forward?  2) Why is he afraid of a commitment?  3) Why didn’t he call me/come over/text me…?

What do all these questions have in common?    Two things.  First – they are all NEGATIVE and second, they are all about HIM.  This does two things – it attracts your own negativity, which gets projected then into the world around you (and into your man!) AND it relieves YOU of the need to take responsibility for your part in the relationship/commitment issue.

I’m betting you were thinking what I was going to tell you what to change in HIM, right?  Wrong.  Everything YOU do as a person, every relationship you are in, every situation you encounter has ONE thing in common – YOU.  YOU can only change YOU.  YOU can only take responsibility for YOUR actions.  YOU can only show others your example and encourage them by your own actions.  Do you see what I am saying?

So what kind of questions do you need to ask yourself?  How about these…What does it take for my man to want to commit?  What would he want from the relationship?   What can I do to help him move forward in this relationship?

This way, you are considering his needs, and without ASKING him the answers to these questions, try putting yourself in his shoes.  Has he had bad experiences? Perhaps a jealous or untrusting past partner?  A bad relationship with his mother or father?  Does he have all single friends?  Does he want a family?

But finally – WHAT IMPACT do these things have on him?  Maybe having a psycho ex-girlfriend has made him REALLY gun-shy of an untrusting partner.  Do you do what you can to HELP that, or not?  Do you SHOW him (not tell him) that you trust him?  Or do you forget about that and fall into attention seeking patterns when you think he might be out with the guys or even eyeballing a waitress at the local Hooters?

Do you see what I am saying?  If you get yourself into a pattern of trying to understand him and HIS needs in a relationship, I guarantee you that you are going to come out on top in this.  Show a man this kind of CONNECTION, and that attraction he has for you will deepen into the gut level attraction needed for starting and maintaining a serious relationship.  He will start showing YOU the same kind of kindness, respect and understanding that you show him if you lead him by YOUR example.

In other words – my mother always says you TEACH people how to treat you.

And my mom is right.  (Yes, I am sending her this article!)

If you want to learn more about true attraction and how to spark it then maintain it, please see Christian Carter’s program Natural and Lasting Attraction.  It is FULL of fabulous relationship advice and invaluable to women who want to know how to keep their current relationship from failing.

Attraction in the world of dating

Attraction in the world of dating is often a mystery to women.  Most women have no idea how attraction really works, or, if they think they DO have an idea, they have it all wrong.

Do you know what attraction really is and how it REALLY works?  Do you believe that attraction is a choice?  What is the POINT of attraction?  These are all great questions, and, unfortunately, not questions that we often think about as a woman – most of us take for granted that we know, when we don’t.

Allow me to boil it all down for you into a couple sentences (If you want a GREAT explanation, go see Christian Carter‘s Natural and Lasting Attraction Program).  Attraction exists to assist the reproduction of mankind – obviously.  But attraction works on a level of selection that most people don’t even know.  Your body is tuned to the alpha male – the male most likely to pass on good, healthy, strong and dominant genes to his offspring.  Remember Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest?  That’s it right there, in a nutshell.

So – perhaps you are wondering why you have always been attracted t the bad boy?  The bad boy is the one who ACTS like the alpha male!  Many times it’s just a sham, because the bad boys end up treating women like dirt, but he gets that initial attraction reaction from you because he seems like an alpha male.  There is more on that in the Natural and Lasting Attraction program.

There are MANY ways to spark attraction with a man – some of them work a LOT better than others, and some of them that women seem trained to do from birth are downright WRONG.

One – and only ONE of the myriad ways to spark attraction in a man is by playing hard to get.  Playing hard to get is a classic pattern of behavior that works for several reasons. Some women don’t like the idea of “playing hard to get” because it seems manipulative. It seems insincere. It seems like a game, and none of us want to make the dating game even more difficult than it already is.

The thing is, though, that men need to feel ATTRACTION and INTEREST in you.  And – they even want to have a little fun.  Want a guy to think about you constantly?  Don’t have sex with him.  Be unavailable.

It’s counterintuitive, I know.  You think, if I want him to think about me, then I better BE there for him to MISS me when I am not there.  Actually, the opposite is true – anticipation can do wonders for attraction.  And, being “hard to get” automatically implies your own scarcity, so it increases the rarity factor enhancing your attraction.  In other words, you are a hot commodity, and not ready available for the average Wal-Mart shopper.

The key is in holding back a detail in a playful and intentional way at the first opportunity, whether it’s your age, profession, or even your name. Make things up in an obvious way for fun!  (I.e. he asks you what you do for a living and you tell him you are a rodeo clown or a ninja assassin).  If a man is relating to you through a puzzle or mystery, he’s HOOKED.  Then you have reversed the roles, taken the lead for yourself, and now he is the one wanting something you have – knowledge and information about YOU.

So, if you are interested in attracting a man or maintaining a relationship with a man, attraction is certainly something you want to learn about.  This article is only the tip of the iceberg – if you really want to master attraction, and then check out Christian Carter’s Natural and Lasting Attraction program.