Natural and Lasting Attraction

Attraction in the world of dating

Attraction in the world of dating is often a mystery to women.  Most women have no idea how attraction really works, or, if they think they DO have an idea, they have it all wrong.

Do you know what attraction really is and how it REALLY works?  Do you believe that attraction is a choice?  What is the POINT of attraction?  These are all great questions, and, unfortunately, not questions that we often think about as a woman – most of us take for granted that we know, when we don’t.

Allow me to boil it all down for you into a couple sentences (If you want a GREAT explanation, go see Christian Carter‘s Natural and Lasting Attraction Program).  Attraction exists to assist the reproduction of mankind – obviously.  But attraction works on a level of selection that most people don’t even know.  Your body is tuned to the alpha male – the male most likely to pass on good, healthy, strong and dominant genes to his offspring.  Remember Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest?  That’s it right there, in a nutshell.

So – perhaps you are wondering why you have always been attracted t the bad boy?  The bad boy is the one who ACTS like the alpha male!  Many times it’s just a sham, because the bad boys end up treating women like dirt, but he gets that initial attraction reaction from you because he seems like an alpha male.  There is more on that in the Natural and Lasting Attraction program.

There are MANY ways to spark attraction with a man – some of them work a LOT better than others, and some of them that women seem trained to do from birth are downright WRONG.

One – and only ONE of the myriad ways to spark attraction in a man is by playing hard to get.  Playing hard to get is a classic pattern of behavior that works for several reasons. Some women don’t like the idea of “playing hard to get” because it seems manipulative. It seems insincere. It seems like a game, and none of us want to make the dating game even more difficult than it already is.

The thing is, though, that men need to feel ATTRACTION and INTEREST in you.  And – they even want to have a little fun.  Want a guy to think about you constantly?  Don’t have sex with him.  Be unavailable.

It’s counterintuitive, I know.  You think, if I want him to think about me, then I better BE there for him to MISS me when I am not there.  Actually, the opposite is true – anticipation can do wonders for attraction.  And, being “hard to get” automatically implies your own scarcity, so it increases the rarity factor enhancing your attraction.  In other words, you are a hot commodity, and not ready available for the average Wal-Mart shopper.

The key is in holding back a detail in a playful and intentional way at the first opportunity, whether it’s your age, profession, or even your name. Make things up in an obvious way for fun!  (I.e. he asks you what you do for a living and you tell him you are a rodeo clown or a ninja assassin).  If a man is relating to you through a puzzle or mystery, he’s HOOKED.  Then you have reversed the roles, taken the lead for yourself, and now he is the one wanting something you have – knowledge and information about YOU.

So, if you are interested in attracting a man or maintaining a relationship with a man, attraction is certainly something you want to learn about.  This article is only the tip of the iceberg – if you really want to master attraction, and then check out Christian Carter’s Natural and Lasting Attraction program.

Flirting Tips for Women

Flirting sometimes gets a bad rap – like “being a flirt” is a bad thing, or knowing how to use body language to engage a man’s interest is not proper.  The truth is – that is a line of crap!  Flirting is not about getting a man to like you using some sexual technique, it’s about getting him to understand that you’re interested. There is nothing wrong with that.

As females, we are naturally attractive to the opposite sex, even when we’re shopping in our sweatpants at the grocery store.  Most men’s dating radars are set to off by default for fear of rejection, so they usually assume that we’re either married, interested in WOMEN, or not interested THEM. By flirting with a man, you are simply sending him the signal that it is okay for him to pursue you.  Many men actually need this signal to proceed.

So there are two ways to flirt.  One is using body language, which is VERY effective and probably what most people think of when they are talking about flirting. Here are several things you can do to use body language to flirt.

1 – Leaning toward him will indicate open and honest interest as well. If you do it right, it will also emphasize your breasts and your sexuality if you want to go that way.

2 – Use eye contact.  Make eye contact with the man you are interested in and hold it, smiling demurely or cocking your head to the side to indicate interest.

3 – Licking your lips (or him licking his!) is a sign of attraction as well.  Your mouth tends to dry out when you get aroused, and this is an external indicator.

4 – Do not cross your arms – this indicates that you are not interested, and while many men do not think they know the first thing about body language, to many it is innate, and they will interpret this gesture as a negative action.

Conversation is another very effective way to flirt with a man.  (You can actually use these flirting tips at any stage of a relationship, as well.  Christian Cater has actually made a program called Natural and Lasting Attraction that is exclusively about firing up and maintaining attraction, check it out HERE if you want to become an expert on flirting and maintaining attraction throughout your relationship).  

During conversation, you need to show the man that you are spontaneous, independent and unpredictable.  These are KEY to attraction and these are really hot buttons for most men.  Another key to successful flirting is confidence. If your object of interest seems quiet, he may just be surprised and nervous that a woman is actually talking to him. If you’ve tried initiating conversation and it seems to be failing, keep yourself available to him by standing by him for a few minutes. If he’s interested, he’ll eventually start a conversation topic to prevent you from leaving. At that point, you can suggest some type of activity to do together, like playing a game of pool, or looking at something on the other side of the room.

Keep your conversations upbeat and fun – don’t bash an ex, talk about your broken heart or what a jerk your friend is being.  Negativity has no place in flirtation.  Remember to stay confident, keep eye contact and use your body language to bolster your conversation as well.  Flirtation is a natural part of the human interaction and can keep your relationship fresh and young even after many years.  For more flirting tips from dating experts like Christian Carter, click on the link and start learning!

The Three C’s of Attraction – Learn Them Now!

Whether you are a single woman looking to snag a guy, or you are a woman in a relationship trying to keep him on the hook – the art of attraction is going to be a big part of your arsenal of female wiles.  Attraction, in the dating and mating world, is so much more than a good lipstick and a killer pair of shoes.  It is the ART of learning to attract a man and – to a man, attraction consists of three basic elements of the female personality.

Now don’t get me wrong – men ARE visual creatures and I know this.  So looking your best will certainly get you in the door.  But what attracts a man AFTER that initial contact?  Or – better yet – what can attract a man IN SPITE of the initial contact?

Three things, ladies.  Confidence, command and completion – the three C’s of attraction.  The best thing about these three attributes is that you DON’T have to look like Barbie to have them – and use them.

Ok, let’s get right to it.  Confidence – why would a man want confidence?  Doesn’t that make you more…well…manly?  Nope.  A man will be attracted to a confident woman because that confidence tells him that you are valuable (alpha female), intelligent and STRONG.  This, ladies, is evolution.  The survival of the fittest.  Men want a woman (and not be suggesting you sleep with every man you date, by far, but each encounter has the POTENTIAL of becoming a life-mate) who has the potential to carry on his genes and produce strong, viable offspring.  This is called being the Alpha Female, and she is at the top of the stack.  All the males want her.

Next – she commands respect.  To many women, this sounds a LOT like confidence.  It is – with one exception.  Your confidence it completely an inner game thing, which shows on the outside.  Commanding respect, however, means that you teach others how to treat you – what you will and will not accept.  I’m not saying go around giving orders to people – but if you are in a situation that may compromise your integrity – say so, be bold.

The third thing is completion.  Christian Carter really emphasizes this in his eBook and his Natural and Lasting Attraction program, and I think this may be one of the most important elements of attraction.  You need to be able to be complete without a man. You need to have your own interests, you r own likes and dislikes, and your own schedule.  I see SO many women just …morph….into their partner.  They learn to like what he likes, they do everything that he does, etc.  Now, stretching your tastes to learn to encompass his own is FINE.  But – one of the most important pieces of dating advice for women - is to RETAIN your own INDIVIDUALITY. 

And you know what – if he is watching football and you are so bored you are thinking of waxing your underarms – go find something else to do!  Don’t do it in a huffy way or anything, just go grab a book, finish a project or take a nap.  It’s not insulting to him; it is showing him that you are your own person.

So remember the three C’s – confidence, commanding and completion. Master these – and you will find your relationships running much smoother, in every way.  For more dating tips - check out Christian’s eBook – Catch Him and Keep Him, it is FULL of fantastic advice on getting a man and keeping him.